Weird, Wild, and Just Plain Dense

Weird, Wild, and Just Plain Dense
Tim Long

It's been far too long since my last entry, and I've witnessed and captured so many good scenes of bad parking, ridiculous vehicles, and many other odd things that happen every day, that my phone was full of photos. Alas, when I sent them all to my email, only four made it to their destination. So, there are six or seven great, silly photos floating around in some data line, waiting to be found.

Luckily, the four that made it through are wonderful and leave me full-of-wonder.

I'm not sure where to begin, so we'll just start with the most common parking faux pas I see....
The "heavy nose" parking maneuver. A lot is going on in this photo that only a trained eye (and socially twisted mind) can appreciate. For starters, we have the "synchronized stop". This is seen most commonly in parking spaces and at red lights, where one challenged individual has pulled too far into a spot or over the crosswalk at a light, and an equally challenged car pilot forsakes rules, painted lines, and even pedestrians to pull even with the already offending vehicle. This guy gets bonus points for driving a 1981 Honda wagon, a rare and coveted vehicle (if you're a garage sale shopping hermit with 17 cats).


This next gem was given to me by my friend, Audra. I usually only use my own original images (since anyone could google search similar photos, but that's boring and shallow). However, this is good for numerous reasons with the main ones being that it's funny looking, and there's a good story behind it. It seems Aud and some girlfriends went to a very crowded restaurant/bar while traveling and were forced to park in this spot, which was surrounded by other vehicles in similar situations (or so I was told). Well, after ten cocktails and a couple hours of appetizers, the ladies walked out to an empty lot, save for their off-road chariot. Nice job!


For this next genius, I could go on and on about manhood, insecurities, cranial capacity, IQ sufferings, and just plain bad taste, but I think the image speaks loud and clear...

I'M A LITTLE MAN WHO SITS ON A PHONE BOOK TO DRIVE.

This last (and best, in my opinion) photo was taken at our group run (our running club). Now, I witness handicap spaces being misused every day by people who don't appear to need them, other than being lazy and stupid. But this is classic. This one is definitely not lazy or stupid, but absent minded a little?...well, maybe. The irony, of course, is that she's healthy, active, and actually dressed and ready to go for a run (not to mention the handicap sign is as big as a highway billboard). I should work for National Geographic.