Wednesday, March 26, 2008

End of March Parking Specials

End of March Parking Specials
Tim Long

With spring approaching it's difficult to pay attention to the white lines in parking lots. In my new hobby I've found it difficult to go one day without spotting a parking faux pas.
Here we have the, "My car is the most important thing in the world to me. My kids wear dirty, tattered clothes, but my (cheap) car is so important that I use four parking spaces to hold its hulking mass." This guy trims his nose hairs daily. I'm not even going to comment on the semi truck parked in the background taking up 28 spaces.

Here the multiple dents in the doors say it all. This lady's been in so many accidents that she backs WAY back into spots just to keep the front bumper from getting ripped off. Of course the back bumper was riddled with dents and pock marks worse than a greasy teenager's face.

This is a friend's vehicle. I snapped this hasty shot when I went over to her house. Her reply when I showed it to her? "Looks perfect to me." 'Wow', is about all I can say. Move to Florida.

Another little occurrence in the warming weeks, is the growing numbers of exotic cars. Ok, the Porsche isn't exactly exotic, but it is when it's owned by a guy who's annual salary won't cover the entire cost of the car. I've seen numerous Ferraris, a bunch of new Porsches, and even a couple of Lamborghinis. It seems that I always see them sitting in traffic on city streets burning more fuel in two blocks than most people use all week. It's always aging men wearing ugly (but expensive) sunglasses driving them.

Send in your photos to

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Mental Anguish & More Parking

Mental Anguish & More Parking
Tim Long

We had a scary rain storm late yesterday afternoon. I swore after the last time I was caught in traffic on the way to a meeting when it started raining and the highway traffic slowed to (no shit) 25mph. But, alas, I was already on Park Rd. when the rain began. I think people here assume their tires are made out of glass, because they immediately...

...apply the brakes. I miss driving up north where you'd slow to 60mph if there were blizzard conditions with 12" of snow falling per hour.

This pic is blurry because everyone decided to SLAM on their brakes. No traffic lights, no intersection, no one turning, just brakes for the hell of it...

Oh, and here's another great parking job. I like to align people's parking habits with their personality traits. This lady's parking job screams, "I'm pushy and nosy, and I will pry into your personal life."

I'm having a great time snapping photos of morons with cars. It's so easy! People probably think I'm some sort of insurance adjuster.

Happy driving, and if you're scared of driving in the rain, please, by all means, stay off the roads.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Blind Parking

Blind Parking
Tim Long

I was inspired by another blog dedicated solely to bad parking (I forget the name of the blog). I just started taking photos of poorly parked vehicles and had two in the first two days.

This dope almost got it right. How much more effort would it have been to back up and pull in straight? I guess he figured he has a lot of open space in his brain, so why not a lot of space for his jeep.

This is at a Chinese Restaurant. This guy was in such a hurry to get at the egg rolls that he not only parks exactly in the middle of TWO spots, but forgets to put up his tail gate. This is the type of guy who walks around proudly with his pants' fly down 'cause he's too busy to be bothered with details.

This isn't really parking related, but, HOLLY SHIT! I couldn't help snapping a photo of this highway pile-up waiting to happen. Only in the South. A Massachusetts Statey would have you pulled over and in cuffs for this.

Please feel free to email me photos (that YOU take) of people doing stupid things car-related. Should be pretty easy.

Monday, March 10, 2008

`Redneck Shop' creates dispute in S.C.

Just when I feel like civilization and intelligence is creeping into the dark corners of the South, some sweaty, fat hillbilly redneck pokes his bug-eyed, toothless face out of the shadows and reminds me that we have a long way to go...

'Redneck Shop' creates dispute in S.C.
By KATRINA A. GOGGINS, Associated Press Writer

LAURENS, S.C. - A black civil rights activist is fighting to close a store that sells KKK robes and T-shirts emblazoned with racial slurs. David Kennedy is confident he can make it happen. After all, he says he owns the building.

Since 1996, the Redneck Shop has operated in an old movie theater that, according to court records, was transferred in 1997 to Kennedy and the Baptist church he leads.

"Our ownership puts an end to that history as far as violence and hatred, racism being practiced in that place and also the recruiting of the Klan," Kennedy said. "This is the same place that we had to go up into the balcony to go to the movies before the Klan took it. So there's a lot of history there."

But legal documents also indicate that the man who runs the store, 62-year-old John Howard, is entitled to operate his business in the building until he dies. Now the dispute may go to court.

Kennedy, 54, has led protests outside the store since it opened but said he's never been able to close it because of the agreement that Howard can run the shop for life.

The reverend envisions the building as a potential future home for his New Beginnings Missionary Baptist Church, which now meets in a double-wide trailer.

Kennedy claims he can't even visit his own property because Howard won't let him in when he appears in the door. But that didn't happen during a recent visit with an Associated Press reporter and photographer.

"Reverend Kennedy, where you been hiding?" Howard shouted when the door opened.

Inside the store, hooded Klan robes hang on the same rack as the racist T-shirts. Pictures of men, women and children in Klan clothing and pamphlets tell a partial history of the organization.

Howard used to own the whole building. When his store first opened, he said, people threw rocks at his windows, spit in his doorway and picketed. A month later, a man intentionally crashed his van through the front windows.

"If anything turns people off, they shouldn't come in here. It's not a thing in here that's against the law," Howard said, adding that he was once the KKK's grand dragon for South Carolina and North Carolina.

To blacks, Kennedy said, the store is a reminder of this region's painful past, which includes the lynching of his great, great uncle by a white mob.

The town of Laurens, about 30 miles southeast of Greenville, was named after 18th century slave trader Henry Laurens.

Some street addresses are still marked with the letter "C" that once designated black homes as "colored." Racial tension was heightened in recent years when two white female teachers were sentenced for having sex with male students — all of them black.

Kennedy has a long history of fighting racial injustice. He protested when a South Carolina county refused to observe the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, and he helped lobby to remove the Confederate flag from the Statehouse dome.

When people in the region allege racism, he rallies attention to the cause. A walk through the neighborhood where he was born shows that he seems a stranger to no one.

"Hey Rev," one man says as he strolls by.

"Pump it up," Kennedy responds with the phrase he uses at his protests.

Mary Redd, who lives across from the house where Kennedy was born, said blacks know to contact the pastor with their problems.

"And he helps them out," added neighbor Deborah Cheeks.

Kennedy said progress has always been slow to come to Laurens.

"There are two powers in the world: the mind and the sword," he said. "In the long run, the sword is defeated by the mind. I want to destroy the concept of hatred."

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Courtesy - Part 1

Courtesy - Part 1
Tim Long

With the ease of use of email, texting, and cell phones, why is it so difficult for some people to respond to messages? Before you think it, I'm busy too, and receive a hundred (or more) emails a day. Last month I had 1200 text messages! I respond to every single legitimate note or message.

It's even more frustrating after sending a few emails to someone with no response, then see them somewhere and ask, "Did you get my emails?" And his response is, "Oh, yeah. I was going to respond to those later today." Rrriiiiggght.

Don't bother commenting on this post, because I won't respond.